“Seriously? Can’t you please check it again?”
So, it’s May 20XX, I’ve somehow made it to the college of my dreams at the exact course I wanted, but now, a new problem stood before me.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Watanabe, but no matter how many times I check, the result isn’t going to change,” the receptionist said. “We’ve already added you to the wait list, but to be perfectly honest, I wouldn’t count on it.”
“Oh, no,” I held my head.
External housing at today’s rent? There’s no way I could afford that.
I considered begging, but the receptionist was already breaking the bad news to another student.
Shoulders heavy, I had no choice but to leave.
Along the way, I noticed a cute girl looking at me.
Is she a senior or a freshman? I can’t tell her age at all. I tried quietly greeting her with a nod and a smile, but she looked away in a jolt.
Not the people sort, huh.
Ah, what am I doing? This isn’t the time to be worrying about other people.
I left the housing office and soon found myself on the streets. Alas, my brain was empty, not one good idea in it.
And no. That’s not how it normally is. How dare you.
I pulled out my phone and scrolled through the house listing for students.
The Edge at Redwood.
Luxury student living — rooftop pool, gym, in-unit washer/dryer.
2250 Keys (Studio)/mo
Note: High-end, mostly out-of-state or international students
Ooh, just 2000 keys and some change, but already high-end, plus a pool, a gym, and an in-unit washer/dryer, that’s totes just what I’m looking for–
–NOT!
I nearly threw my phone into the ground.
This is a student living accommodation, yeah?
So, pray do tell, in what God forsaken world do student living accommodations reach four digits?
Students! We are students!
You know. Poor. No money. Unemployed. In debt. That kind of student?
As for the rich kids? They don’t need a student house. Why would they need a student house? They can just roll over in their limousine or fly in their helicopter or beam from their mothership or something. I don’t know. Screw them.
God. Please let some rich hot student take fancy to me. Sniff.
I wish. Next.
With a flick, I zoomed through the next options and pushed into the more reasonable territory: 3 digits.
Hollowick Row House Share
Room in a shared house with 4 others.
550 Keys/mo
Farther from campus (bike or bus), casual setup.
I wryly smiled.
This is the upper end of what I can afford, and really, just barely.
I’d have to get a part time job just to afford it, yet I’d still be sharing with 4 others.
What’s a casual setup?
I don’t know. Whatever. Let’s put this off for now.
Honestly, I just barely made it in, so I’d really rather have an accommodation that doesn’t require me to work.
Something I can live at with just my allowance but still enough to spare for any school necessities or events.
With a ‘shkkt!’ I skated a finger across the phone so fast it almost scratched.
How cheap can we get?
Chill Spot Under the Bridge
50 Keys/mo ALL INCLUSIVE
Private-ish space with layered tarp cover and decent thermal lining. Tucked near the creek behind the old mill (watch for soft ground during certain moons).
Access to power (runs off a stabilized conduit from the old warehouse—steady during low-drift hours)
Free Wi-Fi bleed from Taco Bell if you perch near the edge
Room for a full-size mattress (not provided)
Occasional raccoon activity (they know the rules)
Looking for someone chill, cool with ambient murmurs, and not too picky about insects. Bonus if you’re used to shared spaces with light.
Note: Keys only.
A dark shadow cast on my face.
I can’t believe it.
We’re down to 50 keys for what is basically squatting, and there’s still roommates!?
What is it with this city?
Tsk. I clicked my tongue and checked the poster.
Sketchy mike?
And the pictures provided of the place are – just one?
What the heck is this?
That’s just your paw covering the camera!
ARRGH– Whoops.
Shit. Almost crushed my phone there.
Damn. It felt like the whole unit was about to go soft on me there.
I patted my phone.
There’s no cracks, is there?
*Pat *Pat. *Pat *Pat.
Sigh.
In any case, there’s no way I’m going to even check the place out.
I don’t know about a furry as a roommate, but who’d go for something so sketchy? Sketchy Mike? He might as well have uploaded the picture of a red flag.
Then it would at least be funny.
Hmm? It was then I noticed something odd.
It smelled good. Like good good. As though there was some really light perfume in the air.
A faint baby cologne?
I sniffed myself, but I didn’t put any cologne. Who has money for that?
Then I noticed something strange. The air.
Doesn’t it feel colder?
Scratch that, doesn’t it feel straight up like there’s something breathing down on my neck?
My eyes narrowed.
Who could it be?
A friend from high school?
A thief?
Nah.
They can smell the poverty on me from a mile away.
As for my friends?
Heh.
If so, then it must be a—
Prankster!–Woah!
I turned around in a jolt, only to find – literally just inches from my face – a girl!
Oh, she’s cute!
Wait.
Black hair with a purplish tone?
This is the girl from earlier!
W-Why is she so close?
“Erm,” I said. “Can I help you?”
I really wanted to ask her if she’s ever heard the word ‘boundaries,’ but let’s just drop it.
I don’t want to hurt her feelings, maybe it’s normal wherever she came from or something, I dunno.
“Umm,” she said as her eyes darted to and fro the left and right, hands rubbing .
“Yes?” I said, imploring her to continue.
Like, speak up, girl. I have a problem to solve, you know! A housing problem!
“Actually, I overheard you earlier, and,” she said. “I have an offer.”
Oho, will you look at that? As the saying goes, fortune shines upon the faithful!
What have I been faithful to?
Uh, myself?
Don’t worry about it.
“Ah, thank you so much, Miss. You have no idea how troubled I was by this whole thing. I’ve been looking through the listing this whole time. Alas, nothing fit my high demands. Ha ha,” I said. “So, what kind of place are we talking about? Distance from the campus? Roommates? P-Price?”
She looks like the smart sort.
Surely, she’s clever enough to realize that I’m of the poorer variety, yes?
So, let’s hear it! As long as it’s not worse than ‘A Chill Spot Under the Bridge,’ and not expensive enough to require a part time job, I’m sure we can work something out!
“Umm,” she fidgeted again, looking very troubled.
Also, why was she still so close to my face? Didn’t I step back earlier already?
Drats, did I ask too many questions?
But before I could follow up, she suggested something that nearly melted my bachelor heart.
“Umm, want to just check out the place?” She said. “It’s not that far from here.”
Some dozen minutes later.
“Wow.”
I was in tears.
Not out of joy, but out of despair.
After all, it was perfect.
It was too perfect.
Sob.
Why God?
Why would you give me hope only to take it away?
Who hurt you?
The apartment wasn’t just spacious.
It was massive.
The living room had pushed the ceiling all the way to the second floor.
There were floor-to-ceiling windows along the far wall, looking out onto a private rooftop garden.
The place was pre-furnished. They were sleek and modern: soft leather couches arranged around a glass coffee table, a minimalist fireplace, the works.
There was a kitchen too. Brushed steel appliances, a marble-topped island. Impeccably clean, almost untouched.
God. This wasn’t just housing for students. This was a bona fide luxury apartment!
Then there was the bedroom.
Floor-to-ceiling windows, a king-sized bed, walk-in closet, and a private bath?
God.
Just take me away.
She doesn’t even have to say it.
I know already.
I can’t afford it.
There’s just no way.
If anything, this is on you.
Why show me something so beautiful only to keep it out of reach?
Sniff.
No.
Not yet.
It’s not over yet.
Yes. Surely, the all-powerful and compassionate God would not pull a scheme as evil as this.
That’s right something as wicked as this can only be the work of the devil.
Ha ha. Ahahahaha. Mwahahaha.
Yezzz, that must be it.
I laughed manically as I held my hands together and let my fingers dance like spiders.
If this is truly the work of the devil, then – a deal must be negotiable!
So, I took her hands and cried.
“Would you like my soul?”
“E-Excuse me?” She said from so up close it felt as though she could barely be apart my face.
“D-Don’t be silly,” She laughed. “What would I do with your soul?”
She was fidgeting again, eyes darting left and right as though she owed someone money. There was even a bead of sweat that had gathered on her forehead. But none of that mattered, only–
“If you don’t want my soul, then how am I supposed to afford to rent this place?
Please, just take my soul! I’ll do anything!
Just let me live here please!”
Is the devil playing hard to get? It can’t be helped.
This must be that art of the deal I keep hearing about so much.
If so, then I can only show my sincerity!
“750 keys per month! That’s the highest price I can pay!”
“Umm.”
“F-Fine, 800! Look, I really can’t push it any harder than this! I’d have to get three part time jobs just to support this rate as is!”
“T-Then, what about your studies?”
Oh. Now that she mentions it. That’s a conundrum, isn’t it?
Wistfully, I found myself glancing back at the room. The floor-to-ceiling windows, the king-sized bed.
Gulp.
“I’ll make it work!” I exclaimed with fire in my eyes.
“U-Umm,” she said. “How much can you afford without having to take a part time job?”
Her face was pregnant with concern.
Sigh.
As expected, since she’d brought me here only after hearing about my problem, she was probably a good person who didn’t want to burden others.
Unfortunately, telling her the truth would mean I wouldn’t be able to live well here.
It’s a pity.
Well, deep inside I knew I couldn’t possibly live here anyway.
“100 keys/mo,” I confessed.
Good bye castle of my dreams. Good bye luxury apartment. Maybe I should pay Sketchy Mike a visit, after all.
“Umm,” she said, her face, again inches away from me.
Dear benefactor of mine, would it kill you to back off just a little more? ‘
I’m basically breathing out of your breath by this point, you know.
“Let’s make it a hundred then,” she said.
Huh?
I dug into my ears.
“Sorry,” I said. “Can you repeat that?”
“Umm,” she fidgeted, just some inches away from my face. She’s becoming even cuter for some reason. “Let’s just make it a hundred per month.”
Ah…
In that moment, it was as though an orchestra entered with a crescendo.
Tan da! Ta da da dan!
Then the violin entered, weaving notes, velvet and luxurious.
When the lead singer entered, a soprano, the ceiling above opened, and in came the light of dawn.
Baby angels in wings of white approached.
“Ah, Patrasche,” I said. “The angels have come for me.”
Then a giant face appeared. It was her.
Honestly, she looked great, but why does keep bringing her face so close?
I back offed a little.
“Okay,” I said.
For a moment, I considered asking what the catch was, but the better part of me realized it didn’t really matter. Want my soul? Take it! Any catch is fine!
“O-Okay?” She repeated, gulping, eyes darting again.
The way she keeps fidgeting is starting to make me doubt this a bit, but, no. I am resolute. C’mon, girl! Let’s do this!
“Of course!” I declared. “Why would I pass up such a great deal?”
“Umm,” she said, her face again just inches in front of me. Didn’t I back off already? Ah, whatever. She smells good anyway. “Actually, there’s only–”
Welp, here we go. The catch. As long as it’s nothing too ridiculous. No, even if it’s ridiculous. Even if it’s my soul you want. You can have it! I’ll even let you breathe on me as much as you want! Just let me live her forever!
“There’s only one bed,” she said.
Gulp.
That was her.
A second passed.
Two seconds.
Then three.
I tilted my head.
“I mean,” I said. “That should be more an issue for you, no? Like.”
Even if we shared a bed, why would I mind sharing it with you?
In the first place, there’s no need for that. Just throw me in the sofa.
“N-No,” she said. “You can use the bed, I-I don’t mind.”
Huff. Huff.
This girl. She’s basically panting now.
How do I know? I mean other than the fact that it’s quiet here and she’s loud, there’s also the fact that she’s practically breathing on my face. Because you know, she inches away from it?
“We-We can just share it,” she finished saying.
“Uh, you sure? I can just sleep on the couch–” I said.
“N-No!” She said. “You, you need to sleep on the bed. We can share! It’s okay.”
I looked to the left, then to the right. The ceiling? Maybe the floor? Still, no? Where’d they hide the camera?
If it’s not a prank, why?
I was so curious that for a moment I almost asked out loud, but in the end, reason won and I swallowed the question, saying.
“You know what? You build the road, I’ll walk on it. In fact, road or no road, I’ll walk for you.”
“Huh?”
I mean, in the first place, sleeping in the same bed is a girl issue, no?
She’s cute, the house is big, it’s affordable, what’s the worst that could happen.
“Great!” She smiled.
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