I went to where the carriages where, and as it turns out, word of what happened this morning had already spread. Many of the adventurers praised me for my efforts, and there were even some who let me ride first, saying I must’ve been tired.
On the way back home, I thought back to what happened this afternoon.
I don’t regret defeating Sacchi and his gang, but I was pissed off before I responded with violence. I know the situation called for a beating, but I wonder if the real reason I beat them was because I was pissed. I don’t know, but I can’t deny the possibility.
Am I a child? No. My body may be that of a child’s, but I’m already a 42 year-old uncle. I’m an adult who’s supposed to be able to think rationally.
Will I hit someone because I don’t like them? Will I hit someone just because they picked a fight with me? …In that case, I’m no different from those delinquent adventurers.
My strength and my techniques are fine, but my mind isn’t right.
…Since coming to this world, nothing’s really changed. I isolated myself within the forest, avoiding humans because I didn’t like them in my previous life, and from then on, I’ve always been alone… At least, until I met Reinhart-san and the others.
If I hadn’t met them, I would’ve lived my whole life in the whole forest. They’ve been taking care of me since our meeting. They gave me a bed to sleep on, cooked food for me, and welcomed me warmly… Am I starting to be spoiled by them?
Looking back on what I’ve done since coming to this world, I’ve done nothing but run away from the things I hated and without toiling for anything just played around while being spoiled by the duke’s family………………………This can’t continue. At this rate, I’ll turn into a no good adult. After all, you can’t call a person who’s only good at using reckless violence a good person.
I’m grateful to the duke and his family, but I have to leave them. I’ll start training myself again. I can’t keep depending on them. I have to stand on my own feet.
I’ve thought countless times how I should thank them, but with how much they’ve given to me, the very thought alone is shameless.
I thought of such things until I got back to town.
Tl Note: There’s another chapter part after this. Together they add up into something about as long as the chapter part yesterday.
21 comments / Add your comment below
That girl is going to cry when he leaves on his quest.
Why does the theme keep switching on its own? I was sure this was working before.
for me it was the adblock. After I white-listed the site, it kinda worked on its own. Dunno if it’s the real reason tho.
wow, He’s really misunderstanding stuff here. If he can say, looking back, that fighting was the right thing to do, regardless of being angry, then he was correct. Yeah, he could have been carried away by his emotions but his retrospect shows that wasn’t the case. He can not and should not fully detach himself from his emotions. It is fine and proper for him to feel anger as long as he understands to source of that anger, that it is justified. Emotions inform us about the world and our circumstances, anger lets us know something is wrong. An adult who doesn’t feel angry at other adults for ganging up on poor kids and robbing them is NOT rational. They would be a useless person incapable of doing good in the world.
I do not technically disagree with you, but don’t forget that this a matter of perspective. For many cultures, acting on your emotions, especially the negative ones, is considered childish, disgraceful or just plain lacking in intelligence. & not many push it as far as the Japanese. The horror of the atomic bomb & the realization of what they had done during the war because fanaticism pushed them to the other extreme of the spectrum, a very high level of control of their emotions. It’s only the younger generations who have progressively begun to change & become more expressive & what western society might consider “freer”, because the horror faded from memories & the media brought in new shiny ways of life.
Also, the MC is the victim of abuse both from his family & later co-workers. Him acting in anger in a violent way must have hit him really hard.
There is also the fact that in his first life, he isolated himself, than repeated that in his second life, even though it was supposed to be a second chance. Then, as he feels it, he relied heavily on the kind family, instead of being independent. I might disagree with that & was very angry when I read the first version of the novel, where the reaction was more extreme, but again, after thinking about it, victims of abuse do have issues with dependency on kind people or more extreme self-reliance. It made me rethink things in a more nuanced way. Oh well. I still have to read what happens next, & I’m still not really happy with the plot justification, but I can understand it at least.
+ ( n ´ ∀ ` n NEPUUUUU~~~♪
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Thanks for the chapter.
That is some sheet reasoning just so he can leave the Duke family.
Thanks for the treat.
The self-doubt is strong with this one.
i had hoped that this reboot he wouldnt leave the duke family..too bad the author made him leave again… sad…
The problem with his reasoning here is that having others to rely on is also a kind of strength, especially if they are good people who are able to act as a healthy moral compass. Additionally, he doesn’t seem to realize that from his past life and now into this one, his isolation has left him subconsciously STARVED for affection, which the Jamils are providing him. He doesn’t realize that their support is supposed to be healing him as a person, not ‘spoiling’ him.
I totally expected he would still part with them, but I don’t like that his reasoning is basically the same. However, as long as he doesn’t isolate himself and only experience the bare minimum of human interaction like in the previous version (as well as actually starts developing romantic interests), then I’m fine with it.
Dude, chill. Your body is 11, and your hormones are starting to go bonkers. Just because you have memories of experience doesn’t mean physical effects of hormones causing some heightened emotions in high stress situations stops. Give yourself some credit.
Hormonal & neurotransmitter imbalances aren’t something rational thinking can so easily win an argument.
He was not in the best of mental states when he died.
Mental Resistance lv 9
Thanks for the chapter
I’m surprised so many people actually bothered to read any of the MC’s paraphrased, long-winded monologue that only goes around in loops.
“Maybe this, maybe that, but however, but since ever I came here, and maybe then, but then again, but maybe”
I cannot say I cared about any of that.
I have never understood why in Iseki novels, that person thinks that they are their death age, plus. No, you have the chemical make up of a child right now, so of course you are going to act like a child when you are mad! A ten year old can say they are 40, but that doesn’t change the brain chemistry and hormones in their body! Biology exists!
Thanks for the chapter, his mental thoughts would give him trouble in the real life because some countries were more violent than others
They were trying to kill a bunch of kids for money and kidnap you! Why the heck would you feel like you deserve punishment of any kind or reflection for that?
Then again he was abused a lot of his life, so maybe this is meant to reflect that “I deserve to suffer.” mentalities of the abused. So I guess that makes sense.
So he did this again, even in the reboot, damn it, any isekai mc that so caught up with their previous life mental age are normally mentally unstable, even if you’re hundred year old, hormone exist and have effect, i think it’s the mental resistance, seen this in other story, character with too high mental resistance are emotionally dead, they don’t feel anything, and for this guy, his so emotionally broken he perfectly fine in slavelike lifestyle, but also because of that, a little bit of kindness will really set him haywire, he can’t deal with it, he’s afraid of it